Recently, I was commissioned to do a test knit for a close friend. I sent it back, and I was told that it could not be used because some twisted stitches were found. I was shocked. My mother is a knitting expert, and if this was one of my faults, you would think that she would have pointed it out to me. Not to mention, I am a perfectionist, and I went to great pains to work on this. So I have come to a realization. Several, actually.
My pride and ego was bruised. I thought that I was a lot more mature than that. Apparently not. I cried like a baby. Mostly because I take pride in my work and have never had any complaints yet. And I thought that test knitting for this person was the opportunity of a lifetime. An opportunity that was no more.
My pride comes before a fall. And as such, I have or had refused to do any more test knitting for the person in question in addition to refusing payment. Ouch.
This person has offered to help me change my ways and give me a second chance. For this I am grateful. And I do want to grow, improve, and change as a knitter. So, if I am screwing up, I want to get better. And I do want to test knit some more possibly. For this I thank her.
But here comes the liberating freedom and my epiphany. I am completely imperfect. I have been focusing on my commissioned works so much lately, of which there are several, that I had lost the joy I once had for knitting. And it's ok to make mistakes. The average person, with the exception of the aforementioned professional, won't notice or care. I take pride in my indiscretions. Knitting is for journeys, not destinations.
But, that being said, I will take pride in my work, screw ups or not. I will take leaps into new territories. And I will not accept payment for less than perfect work for professionals. And if some professional(s) should someday ask me to work for them (you know who you are), I will get a thick skin and accept criticism. But they will get a thick skin and be ok if I decline their offer because it just doesn't seem like a joyful experience, I don't have time, or I don't think that my experience is up to it at that time. If it don't seem like fun, I ain't gonna do it anymore. I want to have tons of screwed up fun!
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